Fix epoll dispatch dropping INotify events, ConsoleServer self-deadlock, and add TLS SNI support

- INotify/Thread epoll dispatch was silently dropping every live
  core::INotify event (an isKnownINotify registry fixes it) - this had
  broken mail delivery for over a week, masked by routine restarts.
- TCPServer::lock self-deadlocked every admin-console connection via a
  plain std::mutex being re-entered; switched to recursive_mutex.
- TLS.cpp/h: SNI-based certificate selection (addSNIContext), the
  groundwork for multi-tenant TLS (qualityiron.vegas alongside
  barant.com on one APIServer process).

Co-Authored-By: Claude Sonnet 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>

INotify.cpp

@@ -7,10 +7,16 @@ namespace core {
 
    INotify::INotify(EPoll &ePoll) : Socket(ePoll, "INotify") {
       setDescriptor(inotify_init());
+      // See isKnownINotify()'s own doc comment - registers this object
+      // as safe for Thread::run() to dispatch epoll events to directly.
+      std::lock_guard<std::mutex> guard(knownINotifiesMutex());
+      knownINotifies().insert(this);
    }
 
    INotify::~INotify() {
       shutdown();
+      std::lock_guard<std::mutex> guard(knownINotifiesMutex());
+      knownINotifies().erase(this);
    }
 
    int INotify::addWatch(coreutils::ZString &watch) {